real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
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she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
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Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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