If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
