after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
