Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
