Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
