I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
