My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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