There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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