wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
