He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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