No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
