i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize