So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
