I'll bet she douches with gravy.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
