Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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