The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
