? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
And then he peed in my hair
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