Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
