im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
