he thought i was a dude.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
