he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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