HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
These tits shall not be calmed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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