Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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