I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
