My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
