Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
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He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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