umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
