He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
