yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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