its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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