you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
