Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
