so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
