dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
