i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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