Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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