They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
