This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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