I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
