I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
