my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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