Plan B is the new Plan A
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
