who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
