okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
