As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
