glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
