They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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