my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
