i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
