Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
