another moral hangover. fuck.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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