there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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