420 ftw
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
3 2 1 whiskey
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize