Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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