i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
