You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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