Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you will always have a special place in my vag
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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